An Andorian and a Vulcan Walk Into a Bar…
Posted on September 4th, 2006 by T'Kirr and Tharr Shelev

T’Kirr as Dughan, with Tharr Shelev

“You’ll want to spike that, if I were you,” said Shelev. “The tea here is just water with bits of leaves floating through it. No kick at all.” He was frighteningly sober, given the last time Dughan had seen him.

“I don’t think it will be a problem,” Dugahn replied, hardly turning to look at him. The Andorian’s voice was easy to recognize, and he remembered Commander Shelev quite well from the party.

“You would not be saying that if you had ever been to Earth. They have this island.. I think it’s called Short Island or some such… they COMPLETELY redefined tea.”

“That would be Long Island,” said the barkeep.

“LONG island. Right. What’s in that, anyway?”

“More than I can give you right now and keep my job.” The barkeep ambled away with an instinctive knowledge of what happens if the XO goes over his quota.

“I have not heard of this specific tea, as I am usually not adventurous in my taste. I prefer my tea simple, but your recommendation is appreciated.” Dugahn accepted the cup offered to him by the barkeep and took a small sip.

“If you aren’t adventurous, why are you out this deep? Want to watch the humans tear themselves to pieces?” Shelev drained a glass of something that the Vulcan could only hope was water.

“I never said I prefer everything simple, just my taste. I am hoping to be of assistance to your crew in this mission.”

Shelev’s train of thought screeched to a halt. “You’re not another psychologist are you?”

Dugahn now turned fully towards Shelev, resting an elbow along the bar top, cup in hand and curiosity in his voice. “I am not. Why do you ask?”

The Andorian was now visibly choosing his words carefully. “Admiral said this is a human internal affair. I can’t see why you’re along unless it’s to provide council or whatever it is they’re calling it now. It’s not like there’s much to study on this rock we’re visiting that’s not already known.”

Dugahn glanced sidelong at a patron laughing at someone’s joke across the lounge before returning his gaze to Shelev. “I merely wish to aid friends of T’Kirr in an area of space I happen to have experience in.” His tone had turned from one of curiosity to wariness.

“Really.” Shelev gave no quarter in the battle of suspicion. “What are we walking into with this area of space, chief?”

“Morris is an unpredictable man,” Dugahn began, taking another casual sip of his tea. He looked around absently in thought. “While I have not been to the expanse in several years and can’t know the state of current events, Vulcan Intelligence has been monitoring the situation for some time after I was assigned there. I’m sure, however, that Starfleet knows just as much as they do. I only wish to offer my advice as I can.”

Shelev stood up from the bar. “Is there anything Vulcan Intelligence doesn’t monitor? What’s my blood type?” He dropped the empty glass on the bar. “Don’t answer that. I can’t bear having you greenskins knowing more about me than I do.”

Dugahn set his tea on the bar, his expression serious. “If you will excuse me, I am going to retire until my services are required.” Dugahn pulled his hands behind him and leaned in close to Shelev. He rarely met his eyes, but instead looked about the lounge in a conspiratorial manner. “I am no psychologist, as I told you, but if you require the services of one, I do believe one just came aboard.” Dugahn then looked meaningfully at him before starting to walk away.

Shelev watched the Vulcan depart the establishment. “Enjoy your tea,” he mumbled, and sat back down at the bar.