Life Expectancies
Posted on August 12th, 2015 by T'Kirr and Ian Blackthorne

by T’Kirr and Ian Blackthorne

The forested trail was an upward climb in most places, but not steep enough to deter Ian Blackthorne and T’Kirr. So far they had passed two people going the opposite way, but for the most part they were alone, an accomplishment in itself on the popular vacation planet of Risa. It was quiet but for the sounds of nature all around them – just what they needed. Risan birdsong came from high in the towering treetops, and subtropical ferns brushed their legs as they walked past.

T’Kirr wore tan trousers to protect her legs from underbrush and a lightweight burgundy top. Ian was dressed similarly, but with the addition of a wide-brimmed worn leather hat. They both came well prepared with sensible boots and light backpacks for their hike. Most importantly, though, the two brought with them the need for seclusion in the middle of nowhere.

Ian stopped to loose his canteen from his belt and take a drink of water. The day wasn’t particularly hot, but the uphill climb could still cause one to be thirsty in a hurry. He looked around and quietly said, "Listen to that."

Stopping with him, T’Kirr glanced down, putting her keen hearing to the test. She then looked to Ian. “I only hear the usual sounds of nature.”

"Exactly." He didn’t need to clarify that there were no sounds of technology around them; the luxury of their bond often made such things clear without speech.

T’Kirr mused on his words and gazed into the distance, where the trees became so thick that one couldn’t see beyond. She closed her eyes and pulled in a deep, slow breath of the clean air. The softest of sounds made her open her eyes, and she realized Ian was beginning to walk again.

"We don’t get enough of this," Ian began as she joined him. "Of course there’s the holodeck, but when your mind knows it’s not real, it just isn’t the same. This… this is tempting."

With T’Kirr following along behind him, Ian couldn’t see the rise of her slanted brow. She agreed that perhaps they should make more of an effort to plan shore leave, if even just to strengthen their relationship. Not that they didn’t work very well together, but T’Kirr could sometimes see the strain in Ian, especially after a hard mission like their last. “Is this about your thoughts on retirement?”

"I guess it is. We’d agreed to talk about it further, and now’s as good a time as any, I suppose." They walked a few moments together in silence, thoughts intermingling, before he added, "Besides, we will eventually have to talk about it, regardless. Your Starfleet career could go on for another hundred years, if you wanted it to. Mine, well, obviously not." He chuckled, making light of his shorter than Vulcan lifespan.

“That is likely to come to pass, but are you ready to take a step closer to that reality?” T’Kirr asked, her tone serious. Having a natural lifespan longer than Ian’s was a fact they had always known, and she had come to terms with it, but she by no means was ready to change their lifestyle. Now was about considering what Ian wanted, however, and she was willing to listen.

He let out a long breath as they continued up the trail, then answered, "I think I could. That was too close to the end for us. One more solid hit to the Atlantis and we wouldn’t be here. You mean too much to me to be deprived of the decades we could still have together."

“Yes, but are you willing to give up your career just yet? We’re enjoying our shore leave now, but how long could you manage it before you miss commanding a starship?”

"You know me so well, but that isn’t exactly a surprise anymore." Ian smirked and took another drink from the canteen. "I would miss it terribly, of course. Most of my rank don’t even get to leave their desks, so I’ve already been exceedingly fortunate. I think I’d eventually be alright with quitting while I’m ahead, but it’s not just me to consider here. I wouldn’t do it without you."

T’Kirr’s eyes dropped to the trail in front of her in thought. She wasn’t eager to retire, but if Ian wished it badly enough, she would follow him. It was what she did best, she always thought, and while there was merit to having a more commanding first officer, their ability to work fluidly and understand each other as well as they did had served them exceedingly well up to this point.

Ian stopped in front of her, and when she looked up she saw that there was a fork in the path. The main trail went on, but Ian was eyeing an overgrown offshoot. After only a moment’s consideration, he led the way through the thicker brush.

“I’m not ready to retire,” T’Kirr finally voiced as they climbed their way over a large fallen tree.

"I know it." And why should she be ready? He wasn’t ready to retire when he was a Commander, either. Then again, Ian had been a bit more focused on climbing the ladder at that point in his career. "Perhaps I thought I could convince you, but I already knew."

“We work very well together, and I don’t want to lose that. It’s not like I don’t enjoy doing things like this with you,” T’Kirr jumped down off the obstacle in the trail. “We just… don’t know if it would stay that way.” She frowned. “Does that make sense?”

"It does. Would we get bored? Probably. Quitting would be the easy path, but how often do we seem to get to take the easy path?" He pulled a thick tree branch out of the way and held it for her as she passed, before naturally returning the lead because of his longer gait. "I’d probably end up dying in a stupid recreational accident of some sort anyway, after surviving all that we have and retiring to specifically avoid any more of that kind of risk."

T’Kirr perked an eyebrow. “It’s…certainly a possibility.” Dusting her hands free of moss and bark, she eyed the back of Ian as they trudged on up the slope. He was still very fit for his age. “Although, unlikely.”

"You’re right. I’d end up choking to death on a macadamia nut instead." He laughed away the macabre notion and quietly added, "You could have had your own ship by now, but you’ve stayed with me. To abuse that loyalty by prematurely forcing you out of a life you love would be cruel."

Since he had voiced his consideration of retirement, it had made T’Kirr uneasy and uncertain, and while she didn’t believe Ian would force her into anything, to hear him say so gave her a measure of relief. It was foolish to think she could hold onto both him and her career forever, but the sense of having him understand her at least made it easier in the present.

The overgrowth began to thin, and a clearing could be seen ahead as they pressed forward. At the top of the hill, they broke through the treeline into a grassy patch under a wide-open sky. An expansive panoramic vista of the surrounding cliffs and sea stretched as far as they could see in either direction along the coast. "What a view!" Ian exclaimed, his eyes feasting. "It reminds me of Muir Woods – that part where you suddenly emerge from the redwoods and can see the bay and the Golden Gate."

“Yes,” T’Kirr agreed with interest. “I remember the place.” She used the peaceful location and beautiful view to calm her, breathing evenly. “Risa is certainly beautiful, and we’ve seen so little of it.”

"I’m sure Commander Harper would agree. I surely do, too." Ian sat down on the grass at the very top of the hill and took another long pull from his canteen as he stared into infinity. "This was definitely worth the climb."

Settling down next to him, T’Kirr crossed her legs and gazed out to sea. The trees below them were just as tall as the ones above them, and the fact that they could see out over them showed just how high they had climbed. She watched the edge of the surf. “Sights like this are somehow better enjoyed occasionally than frequently.”

"Perhaps," came Ian’s simple reply. After a few moments, he added, "Then again, I think I could be happy living in a house right in this spot."

“It is a possibility.” T’Kirr sat with Ian for some time in thoughtful silence, absorbing the view. It was certainly a beautiful place to have a house and they would be safe here, but T’Kirr didn’t want to live on without Ian.

He could sense her thoughts become troubled, both empathically, and from what flowed across the omnipresent link between their minds. "What’s bothering you?"

T’Kirr gazed out at the faraway surf in deliberation. It was a thought she’d had for some time, but never had a desire to share it with him. She hadn’t been raised to act selfishly, but in this case there was a certain logic to thinking of herself. While T’Kirr wanted to think of him, she knew that Ian would want to consider her as well. “I’m not eager to live on without you. While I in no way wished to die in this last battle, I…don’t think it would be disagreeable to continue in what we do so well and…someday face death…together.”

Darting her eyes to Ian’s, she found her own words caused her discomfort. “That’s not to say I don’t wish this as well,” she added somewhat hurriedly. “And I don’t want to die either.” T’Kirr furrowed her brow, finding herself in an unusual state of mixed perspectives. “Perhaps we can still do some of both. I…I don’t know.”

Ian took a minute before answering to consider her words and to sort them out in light of what he could sense from her. "You would rather continue to serve in Starfleet, even though there’s a higher risk of death, because you prefer the idea of dying together in the pursuit of something greater than the thought of possibly having to live on alone after I die of old age? Did I sum that up correctly?"

Even in T’Kirr’s uncertain state of mind, she couldn’t help but admire Ian’s intellect. “Quite succinctly. Thank you.”

"Why, T’Kirr of Vulcan," he began with a grin, "that is highly illogical. You could outlive me by fifty years or more. What a person could accomplish in that timespan is significant, and to wish that away because of an attachment to a single person defies logic."

T’Kirr’s eyebrows bobbed in response. “You would be correct.” Her voice quieted to almost a whisper, her eyes still trained on the distant scenery. “I never said it was logical.” After pausing a moment in thought, she added wryly, “It seems I’ve been affected by a certain emotional Betazoid.”

"I’m sure there’s an official name for that syndrome at the Vulcan Science Academy." Ian clasped one of her hands in both of his. "But I get it. I feel like that every time I send you to lead an away mission. If something were to go wrong I’d have the rest of my life without you, and to hell with that. So I understand, and were our biologies reversed, I would feel the same way."

“I know you do,” she assured him softly. She was reminded of the time Ian had taken a disruptor shot for her, among the many other ways he demonstrated his desire to protect her. Squeezing his hand back, T’Kirr turned her head towards him. “These things being said, would you still rather retire than continue commanding the Atlantis?”

Finding her eyes, Ian shrugged and offered a half smile. "Maybe. I can’t claim that it isn’t still tempting. But let’s take a chance, roll the bones, and keep doing what we do best, at least for now. We get a unique opportunity to make a difference on that bridge, one that many dream of but few actually achieve. I think that we can hang on to that a bit longer."

T’Kirr once more gripped Ian’s hand, tighter than before. She could see in his eyes that they had reached an understanding, and as she leaned into him and they gazed out over the view from the mountain, it was affirmed through their metaphysical bond as a warm glow.