A Lull in the Battle
Posted on June 17th, 2015 by Alexis Wright

Alexis gave a small wave to Kate’s back as she entered the turbolift, and kept gazing in that direction for a few long moments even after the doors had closed and she was long gone. Alexis shook herself and turned back to her console, deliberately forgetting the words that Kate had spoken and focusing on doing her job.

After arriving at Mizar, she engaged in a brief flurry of communications activity – coordinating re-arming and such – before she was finally relieved of duty. She went down to the lounge, knowing she needed to eat, but ended up shoveling the food into her mouth rather mechanically and without pleasure. She finished quickly and made her way to her quarters, peeling off her uniform and tossing it into a pile on the floor while she numbly took a quick shower, slaking the dried sweat from her skin. She focused on keeping her mind blank as she scrubbed herself down, toweled off, and padded around her quarters naked while she brushed her hair and got ready for bed.

Finally, when there was nothing left to do, Alexis crawled between her cool sheets and lay her head down on the pillow.

"Computer. Lights."

And once the lights were out, she couldn’t hold back her thoughts anymore.

There was a catch in her breath, then another… and then Alexis began to sob. Hours upon hours of suppressed fear and anxiety came crashing down on her like a wave that she was sure she would drown in. She cried for what felt like hours, muffling the sound and catching the tears with her pillow, crying so hard that she shook and gasped for breath. How close had she come to dying today? More importantly, how much closer had she come to losing her best and only friend? When she saw Kate on the Bridge, she had wanted to jump up and hug her, just to make sure she was real and alive and okay. A part of her still wanted to, though she knew her friend would be taking some much-deserved rest. She chided herself for being so selfishly glad that Kate was okay that she had forgotten that some of the other pilots had not been so lucky. Even checking on T’Lira had been an afterthought. What was wrong with her?

And after that, after all of that, this was just a brief respite in the battle… they were going to go back out there in a few short hours and they were going to do it all again. How could she do this again? Was it even possible? She didn’t know how she would manage.

She cried until she could cry no more, and then fell asleep on her tear-stained pillow, utterly spent.