7:01:01 PM cmdr shelev: ITT coup d'etat
7:01:39 PM MajDougMcKnight: Hey, all.
7:01:43 PM DrunknGunbunny: Hoy.
7:01:56 PM DrunknGunbunny: Also, so far, Pathfinder sucks ass. I am thoroughly disappointed.
7:02:02 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Pathfinder?
7:02:10 PM MajDougMcKnight: Great. Shut up.
7:02:33 PM DrunknGunbunny: o.O Yes, sir?
7:02:33 PM MajDougMcKnight: <-----Yet planning to see it.
7:02:35 PM DrunknGunbunny: OH
7:02:37 PM DrunknGunbunny: Right.
7:03:02 PM cmdr shelev: what the hell is that
7:03:06 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Okay then, did everyone read the log I just sent out?
7:03:17 PM DrunknGunbunny: Yup.
7:03:22 PM MajDougMcKnight: It's a movie with the guy who played Eomer. Viking kid, raised by Indians.
7:03:34 PM LCdr TKirr: Sunshine sucks. =/
7:04:23 PM cmdr shelev: I am waiting for stardust
7:04:34 PM cmdr shelev: robert de niro in a fantasy movie
7:04:44 PM DrunknGunbunny: ...
7:04:54 PM cmdr shelev: MAFIOSO WITH A SWORD
7:05:14 PM DrunknGunbunny: o.O Riiiiight.
7:05:25 PM MajDougMcKnight: Does he do that spring loaded wrist gun thing with a knife?
7:05:32 PM cmdr shelev: I don't know
7:05:34 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Okay, firstly, I sent all of you an invite to the new google group for Atlantis.
7:05:37 PM cmdr shelev: but it has de niro so I will see it
7:06:25 PM DrunknGunbunny: Ah, so you did.
7:06:37 PM VAdm Blackthorne: So accept the invite and get set up with a google account so you can configure how you want to see the group
7:07:34 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Once it's set up all nice, it'll replace both the mailing list and the forums.
7:08:31 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Also, log of the month for July is...
7:08:39 PM VAdm Blackthorne: A Series of Misunderstandings, by Shelev and McKnight!
7:08:46 PM cmdr shelev: how the fuck did we win that
7:08:47 PM LCdr TKirr: *cheer*
7:08:52 PM VAdm Blackthorne: By writing the only log in July :V
7:08:54 PM cmdr shelev: oh
7:08:59 PM cmdr shelev: wait
7:09:01 PM VAdm Blackthorne: "Brad Ruder" clause
7:09:02 PM cmdr shelev: you wrote a log too
7:09:08 PM DrunknGunbunny: *applauds*
7:09:39 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Okay then.
7:10:47 PM VAdm Blackthorne: We start a few days after the log from today.
7:11:23 PM VAdm Blackthorne: We've traveled to the next star system on the list and are approaching the habited planet, again attempting to put ourselves in the stellar wind.
7:11:25 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Questions?
7:12:22 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Okay then
7:12:24 PM VAdm Blackthorne: BEGIN SIM
7:12:25 PM VAdm Blackthorne: BEGIN SIM
7:12:26 PM VAdm Blackthorne: BEGIN SIM
7:12:57 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::on the bridge:: T'Kirr, calculate the safe distance from this particular star using the modifications given by Lt. Busard to the main deflector.
7:13:11 PM LCdr TKirr: Aye, Admiral.
7:13:48 PM DrunknGunbunny: ::In Engineering, monitoring said deflector's status::
7:14:02 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Helm, take us in, at T'Kirr's command.
7:14:48 PM LCdr TKirr: Distance calculated, sending data to helm.
7:15:41 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ACTION> Atlantis swoops in, cloaked, and assumes a post in the stellar wind.
7:16:31 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Hailing frequencies.
7:16:45 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::Nods, while scanning for ships.::
7:17:26 PM LCdr TKirr: ::keeps a close eye on internal sensor readings, particularly hull temperature::
7:17:58 PM VAdm Blackthorne: This is Admiral Ian Blackthorne of the Federation Starship Atlantis. I have come to parlay with Emperor Cartagio for terms of peace.
7:19:34 PM cmdr shelev: A Very Bored receptionist> The Emp'r is indisposed at the moment. Please come back during his court hours of 276 through 278.
7:19:53 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::briefly wonders if he's in England::
7:19:56 PM LCdr TKirr: ((lol a whole 2hrs))
7:20:12 PM VAdm Blackthorne: It is imperative that I speak with the Emperor immediately.
7:20:27 PM DrunknGunbunny: ((More then I'd care to spend around politicians))
7:20:28 PM cmdr shelev: AVBR> You don't want to do that.
7:20:40 PM VAdm Blackthorne: I have no choice.
7:20:41 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::Takes note of what appear to be a group of large freighters situated some 20 kilometers off their starboard bow. It is one of many such groups scattered about the immediate area, along with the massed warships.::
7:20:50 PM cmdr shelev: AVBR> Second warning: he is a very crude man.
7:21:28 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Put me through anyway.
7:21:59 PM cmdr shelev: AVBR> ... Don't say I didn't warn you.
7:22:08 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::Sends T'Kirr a text message to her console, since Blackthorne's on the phone::
7:22:12 PM cmdr shelev: ::The channel is placed on Hold::
7:22:23 PM cmdr shelev: ::Chamber Muzak::
7:22:26 PM MajDougMcKnight: "omg, can you finetune our sensors to see if we can get a look inside the hull of those ships, lol"
7:22:57 PM VAdm Blackthorne: (yes that's definitely a text message, it has the prerequisite omg and lol)
7:23:25 PM cmdr shelev: ::Fifteen bars in, the volume quadruples to be accompanied by a loud trumpet stab.::
7:23:44 PM LCdr TKirr: ::sends a text message back to McKnight's screen:: "ill try, sensors being laggy"
7:24:09 PM cmdr shelev: Announcer> HIS EXCELLENCY, THE EMPEROR CARTAGIO VIII, FIVE NAUGHTS BUT FROM ASCENDENCE TO GODHOOD!
7:24:26 PM cmdr shelev: ::Another trumpet stab, and the screen cuts to what appears to be an empty bedroom.::
7:24:58 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::amazed at how full of himself someone who isn't there can be::
7:25:16 PM LCdr TKirr: ::snaps in front of her ear to see if she's still hearing::
7:26:12 PM cmdr shelev: ::Emperor Cartagio immediately stands in front of the camera or whatever it is that is taking these pictures.::
7:26:34 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Ah, Emperor Cartagio. Forgive my secrecy, but I've come on a mission of peace.
7:27:07 PM LCdr TKirr: ::messages McKnight:: "not working, passive scans are crap =/"
7:27:12 PM cmdr shelev: O! Thine fifteen liberties have descended! TO GODHO--- Oh for fuck's sake is this another prank call? I am going to fire that damn receptionist and get a damn concubine instead.
7:27:38 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Emperor, I am Admiral Ian Blackthorne of the Federation starship Atlantis. I've come to parlay for peace.
7:27:54 PM cmdr shelev: Do you know how many serfs I have to plow through to find one good looking enough to serve as personal assistant to the emperor? It's DISGUSTING. And they are all covered in mud!
7:28:06 PM cmdr shelev: DO NOT SPEAK, WHELP.
7:28:19 PM cmdr shelev: LEST I SMITE THEE UPON ASCENSION TO GODHOOD.
7:28:23 PM cmdr shelev: Where was I?
7:28:36 PM cmdr shelev: ::He sits down to figure out which rant number he was in the middle of.::
7:29:02 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Emperor, I must have your ear.
7:29:31 PM cmdr shelev: And I, your nose!
7:29:57 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::wonders if the universal translator is working::
7:30:31 PM cmdr shelev: ::Flips through a Very Old Book Indeed, presumably to find a passage to recite.::
7:31:49 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Emperor, please. We can end this war.
7:32:16 PM MajDougMcKnight: "that suxxors, not jk"
7:33:45 PM cmdr shelev: I do not know whose countenance upon I gaze! If we shall be at war, I should know the face of thy foe! You fit not the physiognomy of the Oppressors!
7:34:43 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::badly wants a drink right now::
7:34:46 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::Scratches his head in bewilderment. Sometimes, it's GOOD not to be the Admiral.::
7:35:10 PM DrunknGunbunny: ::Blissfully ignorant of the whole conversation. Wee!::
7:35:19 PM VAdm Blackthorne: The War. Between the Machen Bren Star Kingdom and the Federation. You're part of the former and I the latter.
7:35:33 PM cmdr shelev: (( you guys put me up to RPing someone who is powerful enough to not give a shit about realism. SORRY! ))
7:36:47 PM LCdr TKirr: ::texts:: "omg this dude's had way too much CH3CH2OH"
7:36:54 PM cmdr shelev: A-ha! It is divined! A wan messenger boy, deployed to beseech the Emperor of peace! Ho, ho, ho!
7:37:13 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::shrugs, close enough:: yes.
7:37:26 PM cmdr shelev: Begone, before I summon your elders such to give you a mighty smacking.
7:38:14 PM VAdm Blackthorne: We must discuss terms of peace, Emperor.
7:39:16 PM cmdr shelev: And I must have a concubine, as was stated moments before. Alas, neither has yet come to fruition. Unless you come bearing concubines. O! I see one upon your platform!
7:39:32 PM LCdr TKirr: ::narrows her eyes at the screen::
7:39:52 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::Still monitoring the ships, which appear to be on the move, but not scrambling. The only ships in their vicinity are still that group of freighters.::
7:40:10 PM cmdr shelev: May I interest you in a tea?
7:40:15 PM VAdm Blackthorne: She is no concubine, she is a scientist.
7:40:37 PM cmdr shelev: What marvelously odd synonyms!
7:40:51 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Tea, however is a grand idea, provided we may talk across a table of truce.
7:41:55 PM LCdr TKirr: ::turns her attention back to monitoring her scans::
7:41:58 PM cmdr shelev: I have tables held up by sheer divinity of impending godhood! Truce is for those not fortunate enough to be destined for levitation above the mud and dust.
7:42:41 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::growing very, very tired of this man::
7:43:14 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Very well then, a levitating table of truce, powered by liquid god, if you wish.
7:43:20 PM cmdr shelev: Shall I send a carriage for you or may I be expecting strange primitive contraptions from above?
7:44:41 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::and slowly growing suspicious of the time this conversation is taking:::
7:45:24 PM cmdr shelev: (( As if a madman inviting you to tea wasn't suspicious. ))
7:45:38 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Emperor, do I have your assurance that I and my crew will not be harmed, and that we may talk under a treaty-flag, guaranteeing my departure afterwards under the same conditions?
7:45:46 PM DrunknGunbunny: ((Unless it's the Madhatter! He's always asking folks over for tea!))
7:46:07 PM LCdr TKirr: ((my husband knows him personally))
7:46:17 PM DrunknGunbunny: ((Awesome!!))
7:47:32 PM cmdr shelev: Would it benefit me to allow harm to come upon strange visitors from afar? Nay, it is savagery and hardly respectful for a worshipful man.
7:47:43 PM MajDougMcKnight: ACTION> It's about then that those freighters, by now having come rather close to the ship, suddenly, violently eject their cargo doors out into space.
7:48:03 PM cmdr shelev: You shall not be injured, tabled, scraped, dented, folded, or spindled in my presence.
7:48:23 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::And it's THEN that McKnight's console beeps alarmingly:: Sir! I'm reading multiple explosive decompressions from those freighters! Multiple, simultaneous explosive decompressions!
7:48:38 PM cmdr shelev: :<
7:48:45 PM LCdr TKirr: ::decides external sensors are much more interesting atm::
7:48:54 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Very well emperor I'll be in contact shortly Blackthorne out. :cuts the comm: What.
7:49:17 PM MajDougMcKnight: ACTION> And it's THEN that the scary ion cannons pop out of the makeshift gun ports.
7:49:44 PM VAdm Blackthorne: We must have been seen, full impulse power!
7:50:08 PM MajDougMcKnight: Sir, I'm reading a massive energy buildup! Those aren't freighters at all! And they've got us zeroed-
7:50:44 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Stand by warp drive, get us moving!
7:50:48 PM MajDougMcKnight: ACTION>McKnight's warning is immediately rendered stupidly redundant, as an ion cannon bolt nails the port side of the saucer section, disrupting power relays all over the ship.
7:51:19 PM LCdr TKirr: Direct hit, port saucer!
7:51:23 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Damage report!
7:51:25 PM MajDougMcKnight: And more incoming!
7:51:30 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Evasive!
7:51:36 PM LCdr TKirr: ::attempts to ignore the flickering lights all over the Bridge::
7:51:58 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Get us to warp, in any direction!
7:52:15 PM MajDougMcKnight: Hull damage...superficial! Power grid...so NOT superficial!
7:52:35 PM cmdr shelev: (( ITT percy sleeps through the ship falling apart :< ))
7:52:41 PM DrunknGunbunny: ::After the initial whiplash, she rushes to the monitors:: Shields down to 75 percent?! What the hell was that?!
7:52:50 PM DrunknGunbunny: (Will not!)
7:52:51 PM MajDougMcKnight: ACTION> As for warp speed, not happening.
7:53:39 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Shelev, get Busard on getting us some bloody engines, now!
7:53:59 PM cmdr shelev: +Busard+ Engineering, get out and push, please!
7:54:39 PM DrunknGunbunny: +Shelev+ Somehow I don't think that'll help anything! ::She tries to get the engines going as fast as possible, however::
7:55:23 PM cmdr shelev: ::Shelev pres butans on the big damage control console::
7:55:28 PM VAdm Blackthorne: What do we have left, weapons
7:55:30 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ?
7:55:51 PM LCdr TKirr: Rerouting emergency power... ::frowns:: ...what we have left of it, to aft shields.
7:56:35 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::Stares in frustration at his flickering console:: Now read multiple warships incoming! Weapons are offline!
7:57:09 PM DrunknGunbunny: ::Gets on sending out people to do the whole repairing thing, as she starts trying to mess with what's left of the power to get them the hell out of there quickly::
7:57:30 PM DrunknGunbunny: ((*aside from what's going to shields, that is))
7:57:45 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Come about, full impulse toward "the hell out of here!"
7:57:51 PM MajDougMcKnight: ACTION> Betcha thought this was as bad as it gets. Well, you're horribly, horribly wrong. Cue the ship shaking as multiple tractor beams latch on to Atlantis, amidst a renewed ion cannon barrage.
7:58:49 PM LCdr TKirr: ::is shaken, attempting to get information out of her console:: Tractor beams, we're going nowhere!
7:59:06 PM MajDougMcKnight: ACTION> Oh, and the regular ships join in too, with precision fire aimed to make a hole in the shields.
7:59:27 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ACTION> The lights go out completely at the ion cannon barrage.
7:59:44 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Emergency lights!
7:59:49 PM VAdm Blackthorne: What have we got left?
8:00:08 PM LCdr TKirr: ::seeing nothing but what various explosions illuminate:: Not enough!
8:00:33 PM MajDougMcKnight: Artificial gravity, life support, and...that's about it.
8:00:34 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ACTION> The red emergency lights come on, illuminating a smoky haze filled bridge.
8:00:35 PM cmdr shelev: We have our health and a well-stocked bar.
8:01:03 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Computer.
8:02:21 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Computer, recognize Blackthorne, Ian, authorization gamma epsilon tau omega three!
8:03:43 PM LCdr TKirr: ::swallows hard, just catching Blackthorne's address amidst frantically trying to get data out of her failing screen::
8:04:07 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ACTION> No reply from the computer, but Blackthorne continues in case it's listening but can't talk. "Activate autodestruct sequence, countdown five minutes."
8:04:15 PM MajDougMcKnight: ACTION> And for the finale, once the shields go down, the lighting issue is briefly addressed as a transporter beam deposits a large group of well armed Machen Bren shock troops into engineering. This soon repeats
8:04:20 PM MajDougMcKnight: on every deck.
8:05:02 PM DrunknGunbunny: ::Percy looks up, some kind of wrench in hand, with an alarmed look:: Er...shit.
8:05:38 PM MajDougMcKnight: MB goon>::Points an assault rifle at her:: Drop it! On the ground, now!
8:05:39 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::looks around to the bridge crew, it eerily silent, since the Machen Bren haven't beamed up here yet for dramatic reasons:: This is it folks. It's been an honor.
8:06:34 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Secure your stations and lock the hell out of them.
8:06:47 PM LCdr TKirr: ::looks up from her useless panel, having just seen the numbers swarming onto the decks, to stare at their captain::
8:06:49 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Go peacefully when they capture us.
8:06:59 PM VAdm Blackthorne: And maybe we'll get out of this yet.
8:07:18 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::thinking "Or maybe the autodestruct engaged"::
8:07:23 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::For dramatic reasons, THEN cue the arriving Machen Bren troops.::
8:07:37 PM LCdr TKirr: ::secures her station the best she can, before someone stops her::
8:07:49 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::raises his hands as the troops beam in::
8:07:50 PM DrunknGunbunny: ::Looks at the wrench, then the dude with the assault rifle...and then at the computers. She ALMOST chucked the thing at them, and then sighed heavily, dropping it.::
8:09:12 PM cmdr shelev: ((the computers or the guy?))
8:09:13 PM MajDougMcKnight: Higher level Machen Bren goon> That's the first smart thing you've done since you entered the domain of his impending godhood. Signal the rest of your crew to follow suit, and they'll be spared. Anyone fighting
8:09:34 PM MajDougMcKnight: back will be shot. And we're not marksman enough to shoot for stun with bullets.
8:09:40 PM DrunknGunbunny: ((The guy))
8:10:08 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Internal communications are down, along with everything else, but the bridge crew will not resist.
8:10:21 PM VAdm Blackthorne: They were just following my orders.
8:10:55 PM MajDougMcKnight: Your soldiers on the other decks believe they're following them now. A pity.
8:11:56 PM LCdr TKirr: ::holds her hands up obediently, studying the troops::
8:12:36 PM LCdr TKirr: EnsLogan> ::stands behind T'Kirr at the back panel, mimicing her stance::
8:13:52 PM MajDougMcKnight: ACTION> And the Machen Bren troops go about restraining the crew at gunpoint, all over the ship. Except those armed and still fighting back on the other decks, who continue to fight a desperate and doomed defense.
8:14:55 PM MajDougMcKnight: Head goon>::Frowns, his orders to take as many as he could alive and unharmed growing more complicated before withdrawing a handgun and pointing it at Blackthorne:: You. Come here.
8:15:05 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::does so::
8:15:05 PM LCdr TKirr: ::calms her breathing, her heart beating wildly, wondering if they're all about to go up in a ball of flame or not::
8:15:43 PM MajDougMcKnight: We're going to beam directly from deck to deck, where you will deliver the stand down order in person. Conversely, I shoot you in the head. Choose quickly.
8:16:09 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Very well. You swear that they'll be spared?
8:16:26 PM LCdr TKirr: ::eyes locked to Blackthorne, knowing any second he'll disappear::
8:16:38 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::Oh, and McKnight is looking pretty fucking pissed off, but he's following Blackthorne's damn order.::
8:17:16 PM MajDougMcKnight: Head goon> Until they pass beyond my authority, yes.
8:17:25 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::nods:: Alright then.
8:17:34 PM VAdm Blackthorne: ::looks around at the bridge crew::
8:18:32 PM MajDougMcKnight: Head goon> ::Barks the order into his communications device on his vest before grabbing Blackthorne by the back of the collar, and they both dissapear in a shower of pretty lights.::
8:18:39 PM VAdm Blackthorne: PAUSE SIM
8:18:43 PM VAdm Blackthorne: PAUSE SIM
8:18:44 PM VAdm Blackthorne: PAUSE SIM
8:18:45 PM LCdr TKirr: ::pauses::
8:18:51 PM MajDougMcKnight: ::Pauses as well.::
8:19:05 PM cmdr shelev: :< yip yip yip yip yip
8:19:06 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Well then!
8:19:42 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Ain't that some shit!
8:19:52 PM MajDougMcKnight: See? Once you start droning on, it's like trying to eat just one potato chip!
8:20:12 PM LCdr TKirr: Just goes to show ya a lot can happen in a sim
8:20:20 PM DrunknGunbunny: Yup...do we get to kill things next time? *manic grin*
8:20:38 PM MajDougMcKnight: I'd say that would be inadvisable.
8:20:47 PM DrunknGunbunny: BLAST.
8:20:51 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Yeah, you're not in a position to kill much.
8:21:08 PM MajDougMcKnight: Maybe an underling.
8:21:11 PM DrunknGunbunny: YAY!
8:21:25 PM LCdr TKirr: Step on a rat as we're shoved through their filthy corridors.
8:21:26 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Maybe a janitor, but he didn't do anything wrong. :(
8:21:46 PM DrunknGunbunny: Aw, but I like rats.
8:21:46 PM MajDougMcKnight: "It was the engineer, in the cell, with the sharpened toothbrush!"
8:21:52 PM DrunknGunbunny: O.O
8:21:57 PM DrunknGunbunny: Must shank...
8:22:04 PM VAdm Blackthorne: "Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived." *flips through porno mag*
8:23:31 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Well that's that for this week. I'll get both of those LotMs updated to the site soon, I promise. Get your group setup the way you like it, send test message, whatever you like.
8:24:30 PM LCdr TKirr: 'Kay.
8:24:33 PM MajDougMcKnight: "omg super"
8:24:45 PM LCdr TKirr: What's this for, anyway?
8:24:54 PM VAdm Blackthorne: It'll replace the forums and the mailing list both.
8:25:02 PM LCdr TKirr: Ahh
8:25:30 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Simply because the forums are running on my home computer and they're rather pointless right now
8:25:40 PM VAdm Blackthorne: And this has a mailing list too so we might as well combine.
8:26:31 PM LCdr TKirr: Cool with me. What about the forum archives, though?
8:27:40 PM VAdm Blackthorne: I may move it over.
8:28:17 PM LCdr TKirr: So I'm not gonna be a concubine, am I. =/
8:28:32 PM VAdm Blackthorne: At least the stuff written by current crew.
8:29:33 PM VAdm Blackthorne: The email address of the new list is email@example.com
8:29:49 PM VAdm Blackthorne: And I can neither confirm nor deny what will happen to you next week.
8:30:27 PM LCdr TKirr: Well if the drunk bunny's with me, maybe it'll be okay.
8:30:40 PM DrunknGunbunny: :-D I'll bring extra gadgets.
8:30:51 PM VAdm Blackthorne: Well, that's it for tonight. See y'all next week!
8:31:14 PM DrunknGunbunny: Later.